Oh my gosh! I so feel for you Olivia! Try to think about what you would want for the future. Do you think you would be ready for babies? My question for chinclub & JoAnn would be this: If she removes the female from the mix, would the 2 males calm back down and bond again? We tried that for awhile with the female completely out of the house and mine didn't after 3 weeks. They sill went after each other. At that point, we decided to give little Sam to a really nice lady that has a chin that's almost 20 years old and he's doing really well. However, with the female back at home, the eventual kits came. We do love having the kits, it's hard on us to have to separate him after the birth and all, and the kits are alot of work but very rewarding at the same time.
So, except for the question I had, I would just think of all scenarios and decide on what would be best for your lifestyle. Also, do you know anything about the genetics and whether or not they "should" breed? Again, I have been really lucky with mine. I have only had one kit die and that seemed mostly due to him being slightly underdevoped since he was the runt of a litter of 4. None of their offspring has had any issues over the last 3 years and all are doing really well.
I would try to make the decision as quickly as possible so the tension and mental stress in your home can subside. If we are stressed out and worried, we pass that information on to our animals and everyone else around us. If we aren't happy, they won't be either.
I am sending a bunch of love and good vibes your way and wish you the best in this difficult time. You have lots of support here and we are all rooting for you!
Steven