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[Hoppinchins]

I know many people say that when you met them you just know. What if you meet them and you know and then over time things change and you get to know them better and live together and move out and what not, and your not soo sure anymore. To me its a sign that its not the right person. To keep this short, he owes me $5000 plus/minus ( mostly for teeth work= dentures, hes 30 and i'm 25.) and my 2 kitty's live with him and always have. My family is allergic to cats. They did do pretty good when I had them for a month at my parents house. 

[1newChinmom1]

It seems to me that if it comes down to finances and pet logistics....we aren't talking soul mate anymore.    But, then again, that's just me.  I have been married to a man I could not breath without, after he died, I almost did too. I have been married to another man who almost killed me before I could escape him. I am not saying I know everything.  But I am saying that if your biggest concerns are about what he owes you for bridgework and who gets the kitties...well...that doesn't sound quite like 'soul mate' material to me. 

Sometimes we get caught up in how much time has been spent, or how intwined our finances or whatever are, and forget to ask - is this who I really want to spend the next 50 years with? 
And trust me, a guy worth your next 50 years is not going to step in if you are already in a relationship with your cat sitter.  Again, just me, a gruff old Army retiree. But if you were  my daughter ( and I have three - one two older than you) I would be offering an even more gruff response. You deserve love. Mind shattering, life altering, jaw dropping, heart pounding love. It does exist. Even a virtual friend on the chin boards can tell you that, Sweetness.

The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know 

[Hoppinchins]

wow, you've had a hardlife. I'm glad you able to find someone you were truly met to be with. Your sweet and thanks for the advice. And there's more to it then that. At times i belive i want to marry him and times when i don't. I do want to be wit someone i'm inlove with. Part of it is that i'm 25, i want to get married and start a family in a few yrs. i think bc he's always been bad wit money, he's in a dead end job. Says he's been looking for jobs but in a yr he's had one interview.  he says he's been apply but i don't think he has. I know its a bad time to look for a job but he's got good manager expirence.

[jmdebb]

in my opinion, i don't know if everyone will find their soul mate, but i think it is one of those things that you will just know when you do.. here is why i say that...

i had a cat chleo who got inoperatable cancer, i asked the vet how will i know when the time is right to put her down, he told me "you will know".. i was like you, what does that mean, how will i know.. well you know what, one day i just looked at her and i just knew it was time.

so its one of those things no one can say when or how, but you will just know.

as for the money issue, that is another thing you need to decide if you want to be with someone that is not good with finances, if he is 30 and like this now, he won't get any better, and if it bothers you know, it always will and you will probably have alot of problems over it.

just my opinion.

good luck

[Chins]

I understand how you feel. I'm 26 and a newlywed of 4 months. My husband and I got married July 4th, 2010.
Before I met him I was with another guy whom I thought was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We had two cats (which now reside with him, my in law family is allergic to cats anyhow) and shared an apartment. I paid for a lot of bills, bought him a new cell phone and put him on my cell phone plan. I never made him pay me back for anything.
He was of muslim religion and his family was extremely religious and disapproved of our relationship.
When we broke up I was devastated, to the point I was almost fired from my job. I wasn't eating or sleeping. I couldn't really do anything.
But a friend of mine told me that one day I will find someone who loves and respects me. I needed someone that will be romantic and take me to Disneyland. Seems like a very random thing to say.

After a few months of dating my husband, I saw a 2fer ad for Disney and I said I would love to go to Disney one day. To my surprise he says "I love Disney, we definitely should go." That was my soul mate moment.
And its not that we don't fight  and have our own issues but the key is that we work past them. We always think about the other person.
I'm going through an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. I currently work for a Vet, which I love and always wanted to do. But a few months ago she became extremely demeaning and I was afraid to go to work. This went on for a month. We then discussed it and she has had considerable improvements since then but I become paranoid easily and I'm still affected by this, I sometime slack at work and lose motivation. I lose sight of what I'm at for work and think of quitting.
I'm also going to school to be a registered vet tech. All of these things together has caused me a lot of stress and emotional grief. My husband and I fight about some of these issues but we work through them.
He's extremely supportive despite anything else that happens and vice versa.

"Love is not about looking at each other but looking in the same direction."

Good luck, keep us updated

[Hoppinchins]

Thanks, Thats good advice chins. My current bf was the only guy that has ever swepted me off my feet. Officiously that has changed now. I can't believe how in-love i was with him in our first 6 months. I want someone to sweep me off my feet, like my chins, and give me my fairy tail proposal and wedding. Part of the reason I want that money he owes me is because i'm barely making any money. I'm done draining my savings to help him. He has deff been understanding. I'v been stressed about school. I don't think my family is ever too kine on my bfs. They like them, but they want to be with someone that can support me down the road. They know i'd love to be a stay at home mom. They'd like be to be with someone that has a 4 yr degree. That's not that important to me as being happy is.

I was talking to this old friend of mine for a week. I know its stupid but i was soo crazy about him. He asked me to go to a wedding with him. and then I didn't hear from him for a week and i was freaking out. His phone had broke and he had to wait to get a new one in the mail. So when he got his new phone he got alot of messages from me and that was that. Which i think is kinda crappy. He could have atleast sent me a facebook message. I really liked him. I can't think of someone else that i know or meet that i'd more then him.

I'm glad that you were able to find the right guy for you! How did you meet him? That stinks about your job and boss. I hope that once you finish school you will be able to have a job you enjoy more and is less stress. I really like your quote.

My friend has a profile on one of those dating pages. I'm a little iffy about that. I'd rather meet them the old fashion way, but it may not hurt either.

jmdebb, thanks. I know the money issue is always going to bother me. He's in a dead end job. I work hard for the money i have and to save it. I want to be able to have a house and hopefully be able to be a stay at home mom one day.

[Chins]

Hey! I met my husband at a game store. I was buying a memory card for my ps2 a friend had bought me. My husband was actually working there, not making much money then. And that job was a dead end job.
He has a 4 year degree in animation and he had to apply to a lot of places before he got the job he has now. We're really comfortable financially now.

Like you I'd love to be a stay at home mom too but unfortunately we live in Los Angeles and everything is too expensive.  So we have to have two incomes.

I know you'll find the right guy for you. You should always follow your instincts. If it doesn't feel right then it's probably not right despite how in love you are or might have been. Sometimes doing things for the better can be painful and difficult.

I'd love for you to keep updating through your journey 

[Hoppinchins]

Yeah. that is an expensive place to live, bit i'v never been there. That's good that your able to be comfortably financial  in a place like LA.

Dan I broke up yesterday. I know its for the best, but it still stinks. It was kinda mutual though, which is good. He knew that I wasn't happy. We agreed that its not the right time for us and just left it at that. He said that he's giving me money with his next paycheck so well see about that. He also said that he wants to be friends.  I have to see him tom be i'm taking the cats to get there shots and then i have to give him the keys to the apt and get the rest of my stuff out except for a few things i'm leaving for him for now.

If i had to work when i have kids, which i know is a long time away, i'd like to only have to work part time. I live in ohio, so things aren't expensive like they are where you live.

I'm trying to not fall back into going back to one of my exes like i always do. We always say that if were ment to be together then we would bc we dated when we were 16-19. He's always single when I am. I love his family to. But i'm going to try to be single for awhile.

[ABC Chinchillas]

Me and my husband..it is just comfortable. There is just this thing where when he is there everything will be fine. It isn't crazy and passionate it is just a warmth that fills me up. I would survive without him..but I wouldn't want to. That feeling was there from the begining and is there now.My favorite moments are the little moments when we are cuddled up on the couch, or now that I am so flippin big..he lays his head on my belly to listen to the as he puts it "little creature" AKA baby kick and move. I love those moments. When you are sitting there laughing together or when he stops what he is doing just to give you a hug. When without being all publicly putting on a show..but you are touching..holding hands or he will have his hands on my arm or leg, Just physical contact. for me it is a safe, comfortable feeling.  But I think for each person it is different.

Marshall is the first person I want to tell anything to. He is my best friend and even when we do not agree it is ok.  that is what I think it should be. there is passionate love that burns hot..but that seems to burn out fast. True love or what every you want to call it is an everlasting  flame

[Chins]

I'm sorry you guys broke up. However, being single can give you time to discover yourself.

I agree with starleomach, I have the same feelings with my husband. It's a really great feeling when you discover it.

=)

[Hoppinchins]

thanks. Yeah, thats what i want to have

[ABC Chinchillas]

You have to be happy with yourself and by yourself before you can be happy with someone else

[Hoppinchins]

Yeah, I'v heard that before. It does make since

[1newChinmom1]

Well, Sweetness, it looks like you already knew the answer when you wrote this first post.  I say hold out for true, undeniable, wants to care for and protect and nurture you, Love. Doesn't sound like you have that now.
I'm not sayin' anything, I'm just sayin'. 
Give yourself time. The right one will come. Men are like buses, another one every 15 minutes. The secret is waiting for the RIGHT one!

The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know

[Hoppinchins]

Thanks. I pretty much did know the answer. Now I'm kinda seeing this guy from school. Its not offically or anything. I just kinda happened. We hang out a few times a week, I spend the night once a week about. He still says he doesn't want to date me bc of our age difference. I'm 25 and he is 37. He talkes about going away for the weekend and we go out to lunch and dinner and he wants me to spend the night more.

Also, I found out bc of EVIL FACEBOOK that my ex is dating someone and he spend Christmas with his and her family and he didn't even tell me. I thought when we broke up things were kinda open.  We broke up right after thanksgiving. TO me that's quick.