Chinchilla Community Forums
Chinchillas => General Chat => Topic started by: Lauren_201 on September 15, 2006, 09:30:12 PM
-
Okay so I have had Berry for 10 months. It feels like everytime I have a break thru with him, he takes two steps back! I am really angry at Vince too! He is NOT helping at all. To the point I feel he is being mean.
I am working on Berry trusting me, and Vince is so irritating. It's kinda hard to describe, but Berry on his free run time likes to climb up things.
We have this one corner of the room that I try to keep blocked off, but every once in a while he gets up there. The problem with him being up there is he could potentially get behind the tv, and I would have a very hard time retreving him from there.
So last night, I went to take a bath, and Berry was out, I asked Vince to just make sure he stayed down from the one corner. (I didn't think it would be a problem, he's been getting better with them) 15 minutes later, the bathroom door opens up, and Vince is dangling my chin from the base of his tail (like I do when I'm grooming him, but I support his front legs on something!!!!) He said that Berry was being "bad" by repeatedly getting up in the corner and he was going to put him back in his cage. Okay fine and good, but don't freakin' carry my baby by his tail! He wasn't even supporting his body, just dangling him by his tail, like a rat about to be fed to a snake. I want to cry. Well, after I got out of the bathtub, I calmly explained to Vince that what he did was wrong, and that Berry is a rescue chin I am trying to build trust with him. Well he brushed me off, and said that Berry was a stupid rat. It really hurt my feelings. The worst part is he loves Chloe to death and will cuddle her for as long as she wants to, and he has never done anything mean like this before. I could hardly sleep, I had that image of Berry being dangled burned into my mind.
Today, Berry is frightened to death of me. Before last night I could approach him, and even hold him for a couple of minutes. Also before the "tail" insident he would climb the 5 foot cage and I could give him a "hand" getting down, now when I approach him to help him down he gets a spastic and freaks, and jumps.
I don't know what to do, I am in tears now. I was making so much progress with him, and I feel like it's been ruined.
-
Lauren,
I am so sorry that things have gotten kind of rough! I am sure that Berry will be ok. Animals, even rescued ones, are very resilient. He may take some time to calm down. Just like when a person gets angry or feels mistreated, he may need some time to get over what happened to him.
It seems like Vince is angry or otherwise upset about Berry's presence. Have you talked to him about why he feels so differently about Berry than he does about Chloe?
Is there another place you can give Berry time in that he won't have places to climb up high and hide?
My husband and I have had conflicts in the past about caring for the chins. He feels that they are my pets and therefore my sole responsibility. It may be a similar situation here, or something completely different. But it definitely seems like something is in need of working out. I hope things get better!
-
I think that because the chins weren't his idea and the fact that he didn't want them in the first place makes a huge difference. He (and his parents) don't understand why I have them, they think I should get "rid" of them. I had to make it very clear to them that the chins were not going anywhere. Vince likes Chloe and cuddles with her a lot. I think it's because she reminds him of his dog. They have very similiar personalities. His dog LuLu lives 3 hours away at his parents house. The weird thing was this morning, he acted like nothing had happened, and everything was fine. I don't think he really understoud how much it upset me. He's out of town for the rest of the weekend so I wont really have a chance to talk to him about it until he comes back and then it will be like water under the bridge. It's so frustrating. I don't know why he doesn't like Berry, some how I don't even think there is a reason. It's just kind of crazy, it seems like the only people who understand me, and my "chin thing" are people online that I have never met. It makes me sad.
-
Personally I think it is am "man" thing. I have noticed with my own husband, of 11 years, that he doesn't really put a lot of thought into what he does a lot of the time. He just does things and then seems shocked when I am upset by it. Oh and I so understand the "nothing happened" attitude the next morning. (its going on in my house right now!)
My advice to you would be to just not ask him to watch Berry anymore. I think he will get a soft place in his heart for your rescue chinchilla in time, I mean how could someone not fall in love with a chinchilla ::kiss99:: , it just takes more time to connect so some than to others.
As for Berry, Unless he is at the front of the cage begging to get out, I would suggest skipping his out of the cage play time for a few days while he is settling down. Because if he is still that skittish you may have a hard time getting him back in the cage and you certainly don't want to frighten him any more right now. I'm sure he will settle down in a day or two. Try offering raisins in your palm and also a bit of dust poured into your hand to get him to come to you again. Spend some time over the weekend just sitting by his cage with your arm just insode the door. I think he will remember you are a friend again very soon. ::nod::
-
Thanks Abby and Jamie. I never even thought about putting dust on me! Good idea.
Our apartment is completely chin proof, except the one corner. Berry is very good about going back to his cage, when he's tired so there are no worries there. It's just irritating. Why do men have to be so stupid? I just don't get it.
-
I just don't get it.
Then they have they gall to say women are hard to understand. :doh:
Boys will be boys, and even now when things get $$$ tight it's always the chins expense that comes up.
I've been married for 17 years and have had chins for 7+. Over the years he's become very attached, but they are my responsibility, and helping with making the cages is the most he will do.
Let one get sick and he gets worse than me. ;D
I agree with Jamie, I'd never ask him to chinsit again.
I would tell him Berry is off limits until you get him where you want him in the trusting department.Tell him he upset you by the way he handled him, but you understand his dislike for said chin, so here are the rules.
Then I like, " well I have 20+ chins and one of you who's easier to move I wonder :2funny:
I too think in time, if he's into animals at all he'll find his special bond with Berry.
I wouldn't think he was trying to hurt him, I'm sure he knew it wouldn't.
-
I agree not to ask him to chinsit again. I had to beg my husband to let me get my chins and as long as he don't have to take care of them he is ok. At first he did not want anything to do with them but now if he is inside when I let them out he will try to catch them so he can love on them, but if I ask him to do anything they are my animals and on and on it goes.
-
I am so lucky MY and I both take care of all the animals and our son as a family.Hopefully your guy will come to love Berry the way he love's Chloe, In the mean time he should not baby sit the chins.
-
::silly:: Bill helps me with the chins, but after loosing a couple several years ago, he became a bit stand-offish with them. He still continued to build cages and all, but became less 'personal' with them. But, when I broke my leg last year, he took over 100% without question. Now he's back calling them by name, playing "get your nose" with them and making over them like in the beginning. It's wonderful when the whole family gets involved.
::wave::
Jo Ann
-
Bill helps me with the chins, but after loosing a couple several years ago, he became a bit stand-offish with them
That's Chris's problem, he can't stand to see them sick or die.He feels if he doesn't get attached it won't hurt when they do.So he tries to keep them at arms length, but he has his favorites.
He just hates the messy business.He is a plumber by trade, but gave it all up because he couldn't do anything but new construction. ::puke::
So cleaning out a cage is out of the question.
Our cat was left to us by his Mother, so we made a deal that I would clean out the litter and he would clean up the furballs.
He combs the cat several time a day now. :2funny:
Sure help keep the vacuuming down.
-
My boyfriend loves my chins...not as much as me....but he will play with them and given them raisins.....he loves watching them run around like crazy at playtime... ::silly::....And I have to agree w/ the fact it is a man thing. When my boyfriend comes home from work...don't ask him to do anything for several hours...lol....he is grumpy!...lol....My boyfriend and I do get into it sometimes because I am a Huge animal lover...I have 2 chins..tons of fish...3 cats...6 hamsters...a dog.....he get frustrated sometimes because I do tend to spend more time w/ my pets than him...but they are my babies, and my best friends....I am glad that my boyfriend does like animals, but not as much as me!!! :2funny:
-
My hubby grew up in a house where it was taught that animals were for outside only. It has been quite a culture shock for him living with me! I remember when we were first married I had a pet duck. (its mother was killed and so I took the eggs and tried to hatch them. Only one survived and she would follow me everywhere. He inherited her when he married me and built her a nice cage in the yard) Anyway, one day he came home early and the duck met him at the front door like a puppy would have. I had let her in to play while he was away. ;D Later I insisted on letting two baby goats stay in the kitchen for a few nights while I was bottle feeding because it was too cold for me to walk all the way out to the goat pasture to do it. We didn't have a cage they would fit in so we just closed the kitchen door.
After the load of barnyard animals I paraded through our home he sort of got over the shock so getting an indoor dog or a few chinchillas in cages seemed only natural!
;)
-
Everything has gone back to normal. Just thought I'd let everyone know. I think it must have been a full moon or something...
-
::silly::A full moon, PMS, jealousy, stress ... all produce frayed nerves ::pull hair:: missunderstandings ::(:Down:: tension ::glare:: and ::tickedoff:: ... hopefully, we pray for a sunny day to follow. ::)
::wave::
Jo Ann
-
I'm a little late but...
When me and my husband were first married he knew I wanted a chinchilla, he wsn't too excited about the idea. He didn't really know about them and I think he thought all rodents were boring and dirty. Really he wanted a dog but we have no yard for him to run and play in and he's allergic to cats so we didn't have too much choice.
Until I made him go to petco and look at the chins. This chin changed his mind about chinchillas...
(http://static.flickr.com/41/119002785_3e696bc90f.jpg)
He was very energetic and running around, jumping off his walls and settled on top of his water bottle. That day we bought a book about chinchillas, and started bying chinchilla supplies.
He loves Maggie. He gets frustrated because she doesn't love to be pet yet but we're encouraged because she is making progress. She puts her little head out to be scratched or grabs onto our fingers, jumps into our laps.
-
What a precious expression on her face!! ::nod::
-
My boyfriend and I bought the chinchillas together. He was really excited about them until he discovered all the mess the shavings leave, and that they don't like to be cuddled. The chins went from Ours to mine. LOL
I didn't mind though. I love those little buggers. He did get excited about the Pink Whites though. He really loves that color and wants a PW of his own. I'm sure I'll be cleaning up after it though. LOL
He will help with food and watering the animals, but the cleaning and playing is all up to me.
-
::silly::That picture is precious! She almost looks "snooty", but in the nicest way. :)
Chinchillas can melt even the coldest of hearts, if given half a chance. ::nod::
::wave::
Jo Ann
-
:) I love it,to cute.
-
This conversation is great! :) I wonder what the ratio of female to male chinchilla caregivers is?
When I bought my first chin, I went to the pet store to buy a hamster and they were all sold out. Someone had suggested a chinchilla to me before but I had never seen one. I ended up holding the little chinnie they had there and decided I wasn't leaving the store without him. The look on my boyfriend's face when I came home with a giant cage and $300 on the visa :flames: ... Since then - and that was 4 years ago - he still pulls the "It's your pet, you bought it without dicussing it with me first" thing. He loves Ninja now, but he loves all the fun things like giving him treats and scratching him. He refuses to clean out the litter pans - he seems to think they are so disgusting he acts like he's going to vomit when he's tried to clean them in the past. Makes me wonder how he will handle changing baby's diapers (if we were to have one in the future! ::))
The thing that really ticks me off is that Ninja seems to like him more than me lately! Ninja comes out of the cage for him way more, and he just associates my boyfriend with treats and cuddles! My boyfriend says things like "Don't let Mean Mom scare you" to coax him out of the cage. It's funny cause I'm the opposite from mean! LOL
-
It took me about a year to talk my husband into letting me get one and when he finally agreed I was so happy. Really all of our pets are mine or the kids, but he will take care of the dogs and the horse with out a fuss but he will not clean the chin cages.
-
I'm a little late but...
When me and my husband were first married he knew I wanted a chinchilla, he wsn't too excited about the idea. He didn't really know about them and I think he thought all rodents were boring and dirty. Really he wanted a dog but we have no yard for him to run and play in and he's allergic to cats so we didn't have too much choice.
Until I made him go to petco and look at the chins. This chin changed his mind about chinchillas...
(http://static.flickr.com/41/119002785_3e696bc90f.jpg)
He was very energetic and running around, jumping off his walls and settled on top of his water bottle. That day we bought a book about chinchillas, and started bying chinchilla supplies.
He loves Maggie. He gets frustrated because she doesn't love to be pet yet but we're encouraged because she is making progress. She puts her little head out to be scratched or grabs onto our fingers, jumps into our laps.
That's so cute! Chloe is a petco chin. I work there (in grooming) and I had Berry already, and I fell in love with this baby chinchilla that got shipped to my store. She was the most friendly chin I have ever met. She would sit on the water bottle and want to visit with everyone that walked by her, just like the pic of that chinny. She was bouncy and happy and I fell in love with her, and was heart broken because I knew that Vince wouldn't want me to bring home another chin, he didn't want the first one but got tired of me begging. The store manager messed up the next order of chins and accidently ordered males. The day the males came in, they told me that they were going to put the little female in a 10 gallon tank and stick her in the room with the sick animals. I had been holding her every day and was so attached to her, there was no way I was going to let them do that to my baby, because normally when animals go into that room they don't come back out alive. I called Vince up and told him what was going on, and initially he said no, but there was more begging/bribing involved and I brough Chloe home and another cage that night. That was also the 5th year anniversary of my mom's death, so I was a horrible emmotional mess anyways that day and I think Vince was trying to make that particular day a better memory for me. Chloe is the most wonderful girl ever. She knows her job is to cheer me up, and she does it so well. Each and every day with her chinny antics. I am so blessed by having her.
-
::silly:: They were going to punish her :doh: because someone else shipped the wrong sex male? :flames:
Thank-you for rescuing her!!! Now she is showing you her appreciation for saving her. ::nod::
::wave::
Jo Ann
-
Yep they were going to put her in a tiny glass tank with the sick animals all because the stupid idiot ordered males instead of females, and because there were more males than females (her sister that came with her had been sold and she was all by herself) they were going to give the enclosure to the males. Poor baby, when I brought her home she was (we assume) 2-4 months old she had horrible diahrea, and was so stressed out. Luckily I got the diahrea under control immediately and she went from a loud petstore invironment to a nice quiet home, and she is the most loving girl. She will ride around on my shoulder and sit in my lap. She is always needing attention. But I don't mind at all. She's wonderful. I threw the biggest fit when they told me what was going to happen to her. The chinchilla community would have been proud of me. I told them exactly what I thought of them and their stupid *ideas* of proper animal care. Luckily I didn't loose my job. But I was pretty upset.